Maybe He's as Scared as Me
This is the sort of thing that I find to be really interesting:
I was just sitting in my room, reading a book (the specifics of which I’m sure I will eventually blog about, once I finish reading it (in fact, I’m almost sure of that)) and drinking an Aventinus Weizenstarkbier (Strong Wheat Beer (they call it a “Weizendoppelbock” in the States – but I think that’s because G. Schneider & Sohn (the brewery that makes the Aventinus) is clued into the kind of beer snobbery that runs rampant in the US these days, and packages accordingly (Schneider-Weisse being well known these days, at least on the East Coast, for their collaborative brewing with Brooklyn Brewing (the part of Brooklyn Brewery that is in Brooklyn and makes its own beer (as of the last time I was intensely snobby (about a year ago now (and don’t think that being in Berlin makes me anything but wistful for my time as beer elitist (Miami and Miller High Life have pretty well wrecked that ship, though))) – as opposed to the bulk of the Brooklyn line, which (as already parenthetically afore-caveated) is brewed up in Utica by Matt Brewing (one of my personal favorite breweries on the planet))))), when I noticed a large black insect-type thing bouncing around the ceiling. Or it seemed to be bouncing around the ceiling, anyway.
I found myself immediately wondering if it was a spider – something about it seemed, well, spider-like (I would argue that my thoughts to this effect weren’t nearly so concrete at the time – there is some amount of “writing” that is happening to this event, now that I’m writing it). Though it was so obviously the kind of behavior typical to light-compelled insects, I wrote it off as being some kind of bug. Then I had a quick flurry of activity wherein I imagined, ironically (sarcastically? the Germans use “ironisch” to describe light sarcasm, and “sarcastisch” for what we might call caustic witticisms), that Western ingenuity had already eradicated all dangerous spiders from Europe centuries ago – I found myself, a couple days ago, giving a friend of mine here a run-down of Jared Diamond’s theses from Guns, Germs, and Steel, with touches of his Collapse as well, including various counterarguments - most notably the “Western ingenuity” counterargument from the NY Times Book Review review of Collapse (that’s right – I give new friends rundowns of that sort of thing – if they aren’t the type to be interested in that sort of thing, then they probably won’t actually wind up being my friend (which is their choice, not mine)), so the whole "Western intellect" - an argument that I find to be thoroughly incorrect and offensive - thing was in my mind.
I went back to reading. Maybe a page or two later, I was shocked to find a spider crawling on the right lens of my glasses (which, for the record, still only correct for mild astigmatism and not at all for distance). I brushed it to the seat of the couch and promptly crushed it with a German grammar practice book. I am left to wonder how much of or what kind of coincidence this really was.
Did I initially see a spider, somewhere (with the way my hair is these days (big), it’s very possible that I spider could have been crawling around and happened into my field of vision at two very different distances-from-my-eyes), when I thought I saw a bug on the ceiling? Did I happen to notice the spider earlier on, while I was reading, but not register it until the bug on the ceiling reminded me of exoskeletal lifeforms? Was it a total coincidence (was there a bug on the ceiling and then there just happened to be a spider on my face)? Did some ominitient, omnipotent being-that-is-greater-than-me hear/read my thoughts and send a spider to my face in order to let me know that It knows I was thinking about spiders? None of the above?
I was just sitting in my room, reading a book (the specifics of which I’m sure I will eventually blog about, once I finish reading it (in fact, I’m almost sure of that)) and drinking an Aventinus Weizenstarkbier (Strong Wheat Beer (they call it a “Weizendoppelbock” in the States – but I think that’s because G. Schneider & Sohn (the brewery that makes the Aventinus) is clued into the kind of beer snobbery that runs rampant in the US these days, and packages accordingly (Schneider-Weisse being well known these days, at least on the East Coast, for their collaborative brewing with Brooklyn Brewing (the part of Brooklyn Brewery that is in Brooklyn and makes its own beer (as of the last time I was intensely snobby (about a year ago now (and don’t think that being in Berlin makes me anything but wistful for my time as beer elitist (Miami and Miller High Life have pretty well wrecked that ship, though))) – as opposed to the bulk of the Brooklyn line, which (as already parenthetically afore-caveated) is brewed up in Utica by Matt Brewing (one of my personal favorite breweries on the planet))))), when I noticed a large black insect-type thing bouncing around the ceiling. Or it seemed to be bouncing around the ceiling, anyway.
I found myself immediately wondering if it was a spider – something about it seemed, well, spider-like (I would argue that my thoughts to this effect weren’t nearly so concrete at the time – there is some amount of “writing” that is happening to this event, now that I’m writing it). Though it was so obviously the kind of behavior typical to light-compelled insects, I wrote it off as being some kind of bug. Then I had a quick flurry of activity wherein I imagined, ironically (sarcastically? the Germans use “ironisch” to describe light sarcasm, and “sarcastisch” for what we might call caustic witticisms), that Western ingenuity had already eradicated all dangerous spiders from Europe centuries ago – I found myself, a couple days ago, giving a friend of mine here a run-down of Jared Diamond’s theses from Guns, Germs, and Steel, with touches of his Collapse as well, including various counterarguments - most notably the “Western ingenuity” counterargument from the NY Times Book Review review of Collapse (that’s right – I give new friends rundowns of that sort of thing – if they aren’t the type to be interested in that sort of thing, then they probably won’t actually wind up being my friend (which is their choice, not mine)), so the whole "Western intellect" - an argument that I find to be thoroughly incorrect and offensive - thing was in my mind.
I went back to reading. Maybe a page or two later, I was shocked to find a spider crawling on the right lens of my glasses (which, for the record, still only correct for mild astigmatism and not at all for distance). I brushed it to the seat of the couch and promptly crushed it with a German grammar practice book. I am left to wonder how much of or what kind of coincidence this really was.
Did I initially see a spider, somewhere (with the way my hair is these days (big), it’s very possible that I spider could have been crawling around and happened into my field of vision at two very different distances-from-my-eyes), when I thought I saw a bug on the ceiling? Did I happen to notice the spider earlier on, while I was reading, but not register it until the bug on the ceiling reminded me of exoskeletal lifeforms? Was it a total coincidence (was there a bug on the ceiling and then there just happened to be a spider on my face)? Did some ominitient, omnipotent being-that-is-greater-than-me hear/read my thoughts and send a spider to my face in order to let me know that It knows I was thinking about spiders? None of the above?
3 Comments:
The simplest explanation is that your apartment is chock full of bugs.
What do you mean you're not a beer elitist anymore? That's not the Pete I know, and, moreover, I don't really believe you.
Well, I mean, yeah, I'd totally be a beer elitist had I the resources to be one. I guess it's a cowboy out of the country situation, more than an actual change of personality.
You should know that in the German-speaking world, the most fashionable way to raise existential questions related to insects is to actually turn into a gigantic insect yourself. Anything less will mark you as a tourist.
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