Friday, May 06, 2011

Next Stop: the Kumite!

I went to Jai Alai for the first time last night. And bet on humans! I say bet on humans, because the (para-mutual, like all betting in Florida) betting is just like that as how one might bet on horses (as opposed to betting on, like a boxing match, or on professional sports (which I've never actually done (just horses and jai alai for me!))).

They hurl this ball in this weird court that is clearly the inspiration for pretty much every weird 60s/70s sci-fi competitive sport/game ever. The game comes from the Basques! But if you were in a dome, or the future, you would be some kind of futuro-techno-basque!

After winning, like, $12, making chickenshit bets on various players, I did want to clap my hands and then kind of spread them out from where I had clapped then, and say "and that's how you bet on human sport!"

Like this guy:

Seriously, tho, if you're ever in Miami again, go see Jai Alai (Ma, Pop, who just visited, sorry for not having the time or wherewithal to take you to Jai Alai).

The venue is this cavernous arena that carries some strange charm from the sport's '70s hey-day. I can't imagine the seats being filled nowadays. There were maybe two dozen people there. And my friend Jamie, who had been there before, said that it seemed more crowded than the last time he'd been. Which is also just part of the awesomeness. There was even a big dark empty balcony area, where I'd've liked to sit, with scantily clad women on both of my arms and a mountain of coke on the table in front of us, because that's how it must have been, way back when.

I really think that if I wanted to spiral down into some really hideous and inappropriate addiction, gambling on Jai Alai would be it. And after that, I'd disappear into Southeast Asia, in order to gamble on bloodsports.


Blogger nate said...

I think there's a weepy, Oscar-bait screenplay to be written about a man whose downward spiral into gambling addiction takes the form of continuing to place only $12 bets on progressively more and more terrible things.

5/06/2011 5:28 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

Apparently there used to be jai alai frontons in Connecticut, but they're all gone now. See, this state is boring in ways you didn't even know about till just now!

5/06/2011 6:08 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

I feel out of place by leaving a comment (because I'm not a Borrebach brother), but I am a musician friend of Pete, which holds some value?! Basically, I want to say that I love the teach-by-billiards video, because I'm sure I'd remember more information in my life if it was taught by association with an 8-ball or a stripey Humphrey Bogart.

5/09/2011 1:54 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

also I love your blog!!!

5/09/2011 1:55 AM  
Blogger Jack said...

My personal feeling has always been, the more non-brothers we have commenting, the better.

I used to assume that Van Hammersly was an obscure parody of something, but I'm leaning more towards it just being Bob Odenkirk doing something completely absurd. I love the long series of crazy and/or off-color horse names.

5/09/2011 6:23 PM  
Blogger Pete said...

Hi Maggie! My friends--many of whom are musicians (or poets (or artists))--hold massive value and sway! here in the oft under-utilized comment section of mild interest!

And all you non-familiarians out there! Also comment! Huzzah!

I think the video is a broader parody of those learn-stuff-at-home videos than any specific thing. More than anything, it's his hand gestures that I take away from the video.

And Jai-Alai on VHS, with 80s era sound effects, would also make a great video.

5/09/2011 7:28 PM  
Blogger nate said...

DISAGREEMENT! All non-familiarians to be force relocated to Sport Drome for compulsory Quad-Athlon of jai alai, kosho, rollerball, and disc something. Games to be followed by restorative Carousel session and, uh, THX-1138 reference.

5/09/2011 9:29 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

WHAAAAT where did KOSHO come from hahaha?! Oh my, that is funny. But I shall resist all Quad-Athlons and refuse to abort mission mild interest blog commentification. I detect a wealth of cheesy sci-fi knowledge simmering beneath the surface of these cultured, well-written blog posts!

5/09/2011 9:58 PM  
Blogger Pete said...

Kosho comes directly from the mind of the late, great Patrick McGoohan, from his epochal late-60s spy show, The Prisoner. If I can put them in the mail before your most current mailing address becomes ineffective, I'll lone you the box set (which, of course, I own).

5/10/2011 7:28 PM  

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