Monday, December 11, 2006

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Extremely Unsanitary Conditions of Beer Pong

Via the somehow-George-Washington-University-affiliated GW Hatchet, a tongue-in-cheek story (free registration required) about some not too robust-sounding undergraduate research into bacterial contamination and beer pong. A sentence like this one pleasantly hints at an overgrown science fair project feel to the proceedings:

Both [microbiology students] said their starting hypothesis was that they were going to find a lot of bacteria in a typical game.
It's also worth noting that the basis of their experimental data was a three-hour game of beer pong. No mention of the revised hypothesis, but I'll bet it was something like "Dude, I'm so wasted but I totally could have made it with Shauna if I weren't being such a [expletive] idiot and maybe I should call her right now. Oh [other expletive], what happened to the notebook with the data."

This is, as far as I can tell, some of the most probing and hard-hitting journalism coming out of the District of Columbia these days. Anyway, my point is, if you want to avoid rampant bacterial cross-contamination during drinking games I recommend a little game I call "Wing Attack Plan R", which requires drinking only pure grain alcohol and rain water.

Also, to all you up-and-coming publishing industry insiders out there who may click through to it: Don't bother line-editing the story for grammatical correctness. It will just make you sad.

2 Comments:

Blogger Jack said...

I think the funniest part of this whole post is your use of [other expletive].

This reminds me of the only thing on the Chicago Manual of Style website that ever made me laugh. Apparently people ask them how to handle this sort of thing with some frequency.

12/12/2006 6:57 PM  
Blogger Nate said...

That's a funny Manual of Style entry, mainly since they had to write it in the first place. What the hell kind of scholarly publication necessitates that question? A monograph on early Germanic profanities as revealed in Hagar the Horrible?

12/12/2006 8:47 PM  

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