Further Brother Nonsense, Patent Office Dept.

An exchange edited down between some emails and texts between Jack and me this afternoon, starting when he shared some of the news of the day:

Jack

Aw, man, you can’t patent human genes? I had so many of those in the works.

PATENT APPLICATION #000004
HUMAN GENE FOR HELICOPTER KICKS 

This used to be super hard, but with a human gene mutation anyone can do this. The mutating process will be accomplished through a patentable method of organic stasis indcution and targeted DNA intervention with radioactive Thorium. It also enables a speed burst. 

PATENT PENDING
(maybe you guys write that part, I just put it here in case)

Nate

PATENT APPLICATION #000005
DEER GENE FOR HUMAN ANTLERS 

Okay but what if it’s a gene that’s naturally found in deers but it’s my idea to add it into humans. I am just saying that I deserve to get the patent money because I’m the one that invented “mantlers” 

SCIENCE CURRENTLY UNDER DEVELOPMENT BUT I CAN PATENT THAT BEFORE IT’S ONE 100% DONE, RIGHT

Jack

Jack

I love this guy’s understanding of how patents work.

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I’ve been the worst offender in terms of blog quietude and arguably more of our day-to-day nonsense should be shared rather than buried in our GMail accounts. But somehow, casual workplace email correspondence is a particularly comfortable medium for spontaneous character generation.