Go You Phoenixes
[Tuesday night, 6/13.—ed.]
The Swarthmore College mascot vote has concluded, and the new mascot will be the Phoenix. Go You Phoenixes.
The plural of “phoenix” is apparently difficult to pin down, due to there being only one phoenix proper, mythologically speaking. According to this second-hand tip from the Winston-Salem Journal, the plural is in fact “phoenixes.” Accurate enough for me! Go You Phoenixes.
During home athletic events, a fully costumed Phoenix mascot will now be appearing on the third floor of McCabe Library, responding to questions by saying “I just really have to work on this paper right now.”
Meanwhile, the “official” school team identity will remain The Garnet. I suppose this is more cost-effective than producing new uniforms, and really it’s fine: garnet is a perfectly fine color. Kind of like crimson, except, you know, no one knows about it.
If you put the two together, you get The Garnet Phoenix, which sounds like the title of a really bad 1940s film noir.
DETECTIVE SWAGGER: [leans across desk] But tell me, lady, why are you so hot to track down this Garnet Phoenix before the police can even open the case?
DAME: [dewey-eyed] Oh, it’s not how fabulously valuable it is, Detective. Believe me. But if you could only understand how . . . how personally meaningful the Garnet Phoenix is to me . . .
SWAGGER: [lights cigarette] She was looking for the Garnet Phoenix, all right, and she wanted it bad. Looking for trouble, too, I thought. And maybe, part of me was already saying, maybe she was looking for someone to cling to during these dark nights of her life. But I didn’t know the half of it yet.
DAME: Uh . . . you’re not doing a voice over. I can hear what you’re saying.
SWAGGER: Oh. [draws on cigarette; exhales slowly] Shit.
The Swarthmore College mascot vote has concluded, and the new mascot will be the Phoenix. Go You Phoenixes.
The plural of “phoenix” is apparently difficult to pin down, due to there being only one phoenix proper, mythologically speaking. According to this second-hand tip from the Winston-Salem Journal, the plural is in fact “phoenixes.” Accurate enough for me! Go You Phoenixes.
During home athletic events, a fully costumed Phoenix mascot will now be appearing on the third floor of McCabe Library, responding to questions by saying “I just really have to work on this paper right now.”
Meanwhile, the “official” school team identity will remain The Garnet. I suppose this is more cost-effective than producing new uniforms, and really it’s fine: garnet is a perfectly fine color. Kind of like crimson, except, you know, no one knows about it.
If you put the two together, you get The Garnet Phoenix, which sounds like the title of a really bad 1940s film noir.
DETECTIVE SWAGGER: [leans across desk] But tell me, lady, why are you so hot to track down this Garnet Phoenix before the police can even open the case?
DAME: [dewey-eyed] Oh, it’s not how fabulously valuable it is, Detective. Believe me. But if you could only understand how . . . how personally meaningful the Garnet Phoenix is to me . . .
SWAGGER: [lights cigarette] She was looking for the Garnet Phoenix, all right, and she wanted it bad. Looking for trouble, too, I thought. And maybe, part of me was already saying, maybe she was looking for someone to cling to during these dark nights of her life. But I didn’t know the half of it yet.
DAME: Uh . . . you’re not doing a voice over. I can hear what you’re saying.
SWAGGER: Oh. [draws on cigarette; exhales slowly] Shit.
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