Wednesday, November 03, 2010

The Goggles! They Do Nothing!

Mostly because I don't like when notes about Steelers games remain as the top post on our blog for more than a couple days, here's a small anecdote:

I have a mild astigmatism in my eyeballs. It's barely astigmatism (an astigmatism?), but enough to make things blurry, especially in darkness, in direct light, or little shit far away. So I have glasses. But I only wear them when I need to. Like when I'm in the audience of something and want to see what's going on on stage or on screen. Over the weekend, I was in New York City (thanks for buying me pancakes, Jack!), and on Saturday, went to this daylong "Poets Forum," which was a series of short panel discussions about some poetry things.

So I took my glasses, in case I wanted to see what was going on on stage. But I didn't want to see what was going on on stage, so my glasses stayed in their case in my friend Jen's purse. Where they remained, even as I boarded my plane and flew back to Miami.

In Miami, I spend most of the working hours of the working days sitting at my little laptop. Which has a screen about the size of a 8.5x11 piece of paper, and a pretty high resolution, such that I need my glasses to read text on the screen comfortably. So I had Jen overnight my glasses to me. I'm wearing them now; things are much better. In the meantime, though, I decided, since it was really an issue to try and work while really being unable to see what I was typing without induce serious eyestrain, I went to a local Target (pronounced "Target"), to buy a pair of reading glasses, figuring that they would help (the shock of going to Target for the first time after shopping only in stores designed for humans for the last three months was also, uh, shocking (reading glasses were in "A block,"--I couldn't find them myself, and needed to ask a redshirt where they was)).

Sometimes, when I mention to folks that I wear my glasses to read a lot of the time, and a brief conversation ensues about my eyeballs, it comes up that it seems not correct that I would claim to have nearly "perfect" vision (still sitting around 25/20, I believe), but mild astigmatism (a mild astigmatism (of mild stigmatism?)?) and then need glasses to read little words on pages. Like this should require, apparently, reading glasses. But reading glasses didn't really help that much. They're just magnifying glasses. So I feel vindicated.

And if I hang onto the reading glasses, maybe I'll be ready for when I'm old, and finally have time to read again, before I accidentally break them, despite being the last man on the planet with just books and books and books.


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