Tuesday, January 09, 2007


[Do you feel like blogging recently? No? How about pasting a link-embedded email you sent to your brothers like a year ago? That takes less effort.--ed.]

Do you own furniture? Do you live below the poverty line? Then you need to read these couch slip-covering tips!

Or perhaps you just need to tend to those three magic words, Ferret Proofing Checklist.

Or perhaps, you seek information on how to secure your couch cushions with pieces of elastic that you screw into the back of your couch. Congratulations! Google cannot help you on this count. There is no information about this on the internet. There are only vaguely amusing tips for people who are in non-applicable couch-related situations. Meanwhile, I will be at the hardware store, getting surly looks for asking about an object I can barely describe, though my girlfriend's mother claims that such a thing exists.

Bonus tip: don't bother entering "couch cushion screws" into Google. These are not, repeat, NOT tips that you need.


Anonymous Dad said...

Try this link: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/38691/how_to_sew_a_custom_slipcover_on_a.html. Among the 116,000 hits to Googling "couch cushion screws"

1/09/2007 10:33 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

Well, that solves that mystery. Where were you when I had a girlfriend with a couch?

1/09/2007 10:42 PM  
Blogger Nate said...

Maybe if you'd attended more diligently to your upholstering needs you'd still have a girlfriend. At least you know for next time.

1/09/2007 11:38 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

I'm pretty sure that the couch thing wasn't the main breakup agent here.

1/10/2007 6:28 PM  

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