Hapless Mound Jockeys of Tomorrow, Today

It's amateur draft time in big league baseball, so once again our beloved Pirates are raking in a whole bunch of pitchers. At the top of the list is a fellow named Brad Lincoln, hopefully no relation to nondescript former reliever Mike Lincoln. (The link doesn't lie, sir: you were actually a less desirable player than Joe Beimel.) If all goes according to the usual plan, by this time three years from now he'll be sitting out a year in triple-A due to a career-threatening injury. Drink that champagne, kid!

I think what they should do is to find someone with healthy shoulders, drug him, surgically remove his arms just above those healthy shoulders, and then reattach them to John Van Benschoten. It'll be a good investment. Sure, it leaves us with one player who doesn't have any arms; but perhaps Jim Tracy could use him in pinch-hitting situations instead of Jose Hernandez.

P.S. My wireless in the house is working again. Anyone who wants to change the slogan midweek, feel free.